daydreaming

let me tell you,

i occasionally feel like im not being myself, i had to suppress my thoughts, my words, my anger with me. especially when with those who i used to think i wouldnt have to.

i feel like screeching and yelling my thoughts out, although i think no one will even care about the thoughts.

we are all being selfish, too engrossed in planning the plan for ourselves, whether you do it subconsciously or consciously. only that i did not expect to see them behave in such ways, time does change human like how you reform yourself over the course of time.

i do dream, like he and she. i liked to work a bit to make my dream stands a little higher chance to come true.

and a recent dream was just like a glass, being crushed into tiniest pieces, not seal-able anymore.
anyway, noone offered me any aid to chase my dream along my way. no single encouragement and motivation.

this cant stop me pondering what does it mean literally "dare to chase your dream" when there is noone expects attainment of the dream.

i clearly grasped im standing alone, will be standing alone, trying to be firm and stable as i can.



when i am in great difficulty, i would look up and hoping for some guidance which support me emotionally or in a more classy word spiritually to move on the not so even predicament that i have.

i took in a very large breath this evening, looked up to the vast sky that i neglected for quite long, and i found that, i didnt feel better.